Archive for the ‘Patient Stories (HIPAA compliant of course)’ Category

ewwww, no, they don’t want that!

June 1, 2008

This long before my EMS days, but one of those things that is hard to forget.

Many peers where I grew up had a room temperature IQ at best. During an annual blood donation drive, one of our teachers was talking about plasma donation.  Without a second thought, one particular girl put her hand up in there and asked outloud “oh you mean like what comes out zits”.

The teacher’s response “uhm, NO, they don’t want that!”. He then proceeded to explain the difference between pus purulent material and plasma.


so, what provoked him?

May 30, 2008

Since some of these patient stories, modified to comply with HIPAA of course, here’s another one from the archives of my memory. I’ve dusted off the virual brain file to bring you this short exerpt. I’m sure I have more laughable ones, but I haven’t sorted through all those mental archives, and figure out a creative privacy based way to write ’em.
One one particular weekend, a carnival had come to town. If anyone knows anything about ‘carnies’ they smell bad and love to drink, and while it doesn’t have effect the medical care they receive, have no insurance, no permanent address, etc.

It seems whenever there was a call and anything to do with a carnie was involved, usually a degree of intoxication was present at a minimum. One particular evening around 1 a.m. we were dispatched out to a local bar. A patient I’ll call Mr. Peel had been drinking all evening (and likely all day) and was unconscious. It wasn’t a typical fall over and pass out type of unconscious, but an altercation between Mr. Peel and another individual at the bar. His face was a bloody mess and he was certainly the drunken victim of a bar fight disagreement.

On the way the hospital, Mr. Peel had regained consciousness, and despite making our ambulance stink like alcohol, was quite lucid. While going through questions, assessing him, etc., I asked him “So, what provoked the other guy to attack you.”

With his toothless grin he cracked a smile and replied “me” (meaning him).

I never ever had a patient by the name of Deborah or Mr. Peel – who just happens to be the “HIPAA nazi” and makes such a great pseudonym on medical blogs.

Wasted Rx’s and $$$

May 26, 2008

In the past week I endured the loss of losing a family member who was very dear to me. She had a chronic illness and Hospice did become involved. After her death, the time came to dispose of medications such as the morphine and Ativan to keep her comfortable in those last few hours. Additionally, there was an Rx picked up earlier that day for I *think* Oxycodone. It had never been opened. Hospice(at least in this area) is a non-profit organization.

So many people that cannot afford medication, yet, because we have the words most retarded governing rules and FDA hurting the innocent, a $200 prescription, paid for by a non-profit, for legality reasons had to be disposed of and documented. Because I have cats, we were able to dispose of all meds in filthy cat litter. The Hospice RN said it was better to dispose of meds (primarily narcotic and scheduled medications, but thyroid pills, etc., as well) in the litter and not putting into streams, etc by flushing. The stupid part is that with the tablets – even though they were in disgusting cat litter, I doubt that is going to deter a hardcore addict if they sift through the landfill. Considering ingredients in methamphetamine like draino and other things that were never intended to human consumption, is that really going to deter an addict? Nah, I doubt it.

With a never opened Rx, it would really make more sense to return to pharmacy, recategorize or something – instead douchebags at the FDA like to let people go without meds. I have many insights and views and over time in the this blog, will write about my disdain for the FDA, DEA, etc, and the reasons why they need to be disbanded. “Public safety” is their excuse for waste? *sigh* Anyone who has ever had financial issues with obtaining needed meds is not going care about the “public safety” bs.

interesting spellings

May 25, 2008

On patient sign-in sheets and other paperwork I deal with regularly on a need to know basis, I’ve been keeping an ongoing log of some of the more unique patient misspellings and ones I found amusing. If you arrived to this page trying to figure out how to spell a particular word, to aid you in your research, the correct spelling is the word after the =sign.

Cessil = Cefzil
limpnod cancer = lymph node ca
sarelbril hemrage = cerebral hemorrhage
“Hydrawatever” for HCTZ (I would have though hydrocodone without additional information)
hyrachlorathoricide = Hydrochlorothiazide (for a layperson, that individual did impressively well on that spelling)
“Listernal” = Lisinopril
“snipped” = vasectomy
lou aehriz = Lou Gehrig’s disease
subrual hemage = subdural hemorrhage
Dimenia = Dementia
enumonia = pneumonia
amonia, ammonia = pneumonia (and multiple renditions of)

last updated: 5/30/08

Dumbest call ever

May 25, 2008

On blogroll includes Emergency Emily who recently posted the dumbest call ever. It’s toss whether her dumbest, or my dumbest was the “winner”. So, in response to EE’s Dumbest call ever:

A dude called 911, for the ambulance, because a spider was in his bed.

A spider. In his bed.

“I’m just scared man. You have to take me to the ER.”

Was he experiencing chest pain from the scare? No.
Did the spider bite him? No.
Was he having any sort of medical problem? No.

He was just “scared.”

Folks, pat yourself on the back, you funded this gentleman’s ride to the hospital. You’re also paying for his ER visit.

This is officially the dumbest call of my career. It beats out the “hangnail” call. It beats out the “my arm fell asleep” call. It beats out the “I’m hot” call. It beats out all the fakers and drug seekers and ER abusers.

Spider in bed guy, congratulations, you win.

One of the doozy’s I was called out to:

I’m not sure if spider guy wins or if one of my more memorable stupid call wins. We were once dispatched to a “possible chemical burn to face”, so ALS was sent out to the house as well. While fortunately, at least in some ways, the situation was an exaggerated tale, the problem was on par with spider guy. A gentleman sat on his eyeglasses and they broke. He had called 911 reporting he couldn’t see. Apparently, stating he got household chemicals in his eyes. Guess he figured we had a magic wand that would make him see better without it glasses. He requested transport, but at the immediate moment I don’t recall if he was one of the few we refused transport and documented the heck out of the charts, or if I’m thinking of another call.

So, not sure who “wins” for most ridiculous call, as my guy was not scared, just stupid